LYDDEN HILL
SAT 28TH AUGUST 2010
Once again Lydden did not dissapoint.It provided the spills and thrills and continues to be the venue where the organisers let us take over and show the others, how its done!
A good turn out provided some interesting viewing for myself in the gallery.However i missed probably the biggest spin of the day when my elder sibling outdrove himself on his third lap and had some 'fender bender' action at the infamous Chris Brookes Bend.'' I simply outdrove myself'' Paul reported,'' i was not racing against anyone , i lost it and was a passenger as it smacked the barrier after a brief trip through the Kittey litter''.His Co pilot Paul Jnr spent a considerable time on the pan contemplating if he was to ever ride shotgun with his father again, but was seen climbing in with his father once the shock of a real life crash had sunk in.''Thats Racing'' he said ''and dad cant drive well without me im like a lucky mascot!''
Robert and Paul Ludford on the TR1s tyres were pushing harder than ever all day and the always well prepped car ran all day with the only niggle being a dropped race due to a blown window fuse.
Formula 500's very own Fighting man Mark Knight was back with another tyre choice gamble, he bought 4 of Paul H's full slick 10 lapper specials, and was kicking some serious butt beating both Paul and his brother Wayne at one stage before the inevitable rubber decided to part ways with the tyre, and the rest of the day he spent swapping over tyre combos, but his style and speed is something to watch out for in the future!
Paul Knight was back again with side kick lee, in the White Knight Riders car, and were so much improved since there last Lydden escapade, Paul was unavailable for an interview but Lee explained that they have made a few tweaks the car is going well and the others should watch out ! He also did not mention that he was not Gay !!! ( just checking you read these Lee)
Also the Team who is not afraid to show its Homo overtones, the Team Baby Blue or Brokeback Mountain Team of Ray and Owen, had a new grahpic setup on the car and not only were raising wheels off the tarmac, but raised some eybrows with there ''catchy'' POOF numberplate and Gay wing mirrors! way to go Guys!!, Formula500 does not discriminate if you like to drink from the spotty furry cup.As usual the guys swapped positions and pushed and pulled eachother off around the track and had a real rainbow of a day!!
However once again the King ruled supreme, i dont know how or why but ''Little King Wayne of Lydden'' was the man to beat and as the pretenders tried there hardest to block his path past The King of The Hill just kept coming.''I think the guys have figured it out by now'' Wayne explained ''I love this track and i have no thoughts of Abducating as King for sometime yet''
All Hail King Of The Hill. Wayne 'the undertaker' Knight
So as the lads picked up the parts they had left around the track following the days racing, i packed away my gear knowing that i have to up my game on the next race as the guys are getting Quicker !
Roll on Snetterton on 20TH NOVEMBER, Daddies back !!!!!
Mallory Park
c/o Mr Fraser Dean..
Well the field was rather small,probabaly due to the summer holidays and being at the start of the month.However, Paul Hatton myself and new boy Glyn made the journey to Mallory Park and put our cars to the test.
Well Paul could not beat me all day despite his best efforts (some say ,he will be upgrading once again in the near future) he does not like being spanked old Hatton Snr (well on the race circuit anyway!
Race virgin Glyn threw away his V plates and gave his new steed some proper welly.His next aquisition will be some bonafide race tyres,then he says he is going to spank our asses! ( Pauls eyes lit up!)
As for me i had to drive home with a bugger of a front wheel about to fall off, but i blinking well made it home unscathed.
It was nice for the lads to say that i owned Mallory for the day.I guess all the practise seems to be paying off!
Well that Hatton jnr is back soon so he will be writing up the reports again, so toodle oow for now, i have to sort my nuts out ! (Paul!)
Snetterton in the Sunshine puts a smile on everyones face!
A smaller than normal grid took to F500's firm favourite Snetterto.On a super sunny day,where the temperatures were in the high 80's so were the drivers spirits.
Paul and Kes had spent the night up at Snetterton ( not like that,well maybe )due to Kester racing in the saloon car series the day earlier.His race was cut short as he took a 'short cut' across one of the circuits new bollards which damaged his oil sump and his cars life blood ebbed away on the tarmac.
However he returned with Paul to repay the visit with Pauls new replacement Golf ''The Blue Vein'' Paul was well pleased with his new stead and it looks to be a good un'.
The 3 car with Doug and Chris at the wheel ,had on a new £500 set of R888 tyres and ran well all day even giving me a push in the corners!
The #15 car was back with a new a new colour scheme and mods.Complete with an aggresive Frazer behind the wheel it put in some good lap times and was constently in my mirrors in the corners.
Car #24 The Yellow Peril Fiat returned to the fray and despite being underpowered he put in an impressive display and says ''there was more to come if he had better tyres!'' better watch out chaps..
A ''Steve Irwinned'' race graphic donned the back of Nick's golf but the 'crikey crocodile wrestling car' still was unable to rev past the 5k and despite Pauls magic box, requires a sensor to get him up to speed.
As for me , well the car was running great after its stint in the repair shop, but it took the whole of the day to get my confidence back to attack the bomb-hole, and this let several drivers tailgate me in the bendy stuff before losing them on the straights, but i will be back guys so beware !!
THE GRAND PRIX OF ALL GRAND PRIX
THE FORMULA 500 LYDDEN HILL EXTRAVAGANZA
The fun started way before the main group of drivers arrived at the popular Kent race circuit.Team MAS had been involved in a dawn raid covert operation to secure a specific area for Formula 500 for the day.And boy, they did it in style! On arrival the trusty group were welcomed with freshly made tea and bacon rolls, to order!!
After introducing the new drivers to the old guard,we then had the normal signing on frolics etc,soon it was time for the age old tradition of 'the changing of the tyres'.A difficult choice as Lydden is the hardest of all circuits on brakes and tyres, so what choice? you may ask,your brand new R888 slicks or something a bit more sacrificial.
How the Teams faired for the day:
Car#1 ,c/o Peter 'the cheater' Johnson was back, Pete has missed a few events recently due to his heavy workload, however, it was back to business on the track.Despite his leaks & tweeks,F500's McGiver' completed the day armed with his trusty liquid metal,he got stuck in throughout the day.
Car#3 Doug and Chris had a virtual event free day,so with no pre race maintenance this time round, the only problem was the Drivers seat subframe falling apart,Doug was all smiles as usual, although he still never got to 'borrow' someones r888's surprisingly!!
Car#4 Paul and Paul Jnr,enjoyed the warm up two races before the White flash decided that enough de-standardising is enough and she committed Hari Kari in the car park.Paul has assured me upgrades are on the way! (surprise surprise)
Car#5 Wayne Knight, The current 'King of the Hill' had a point to make,'This circuit is mine! and true to form he put in a great display to continue to wear the crown once again.
Car#9 Mark Knight, at last was able to put in a creditable display and held off his brother Wayne for 16 out of 18 laps due to some great driving and some real 'Holy Tyres'...
Car#10 'The Blues are back'! the return of the baby blue machine,& now part owned by his buddy Owen returned to its favourite circuit. Ray and Owen raced all day and were thoroughly enjoying their new r888's substantial grip.
Car#11 Team Ludlow,driven by Robert & Ian,gleamed once again.They looked like the day was going to be cut short due to a lost rad cap! however,with a bit of ingenuity, an oil can lid and some cable ties the boys were back in the game!
Car#12, Sported some new cooling mods,but no fancy intakes,grills etc here though, when asked about it Martin cooly replied, 'yeh i got the angle grinder at it,3 slashes later and job done! Martin also had the added enjoyment of watching me plough through the kitty litter before his very eyes! as we raced earlier in the day.
Car#14, Well the wait was finally over 'The White Knights were up and running,'Its good out there Team CEO Paul told me, some more tweaks here and there and we will be gunning for the front spots!
Car#15, Some people will just never learn, unfortunately Frazer is not one of them,after blowing up his clutch at Woodbridge he was back and was putting in Blistering pace around the Circuit.'I loved every minute out there!' he told me later in the Paddock,watch out for Frazer boys, he has got the bit between his teeth now!
Car#18, was only on the forecourt hours earlier! Nick on his first trackday with F500, only picked up his ride a few hours earlier.The car came complete with no seatbelt! So after some retrofixing he was soon out there in a car he has never driven before,and really mixing it up.Several laps later though,he was receiving some ''Medical treatment'' from our personal nurse 'Fi' to a bruised finger and ego, Nick is already on ebay looking for upgrades!!
Car#24,looked like a golf' but was in fact Matt in his stripped out 1.2 16v Punto, and with his lightweight car & even more lightweight girlfriend beside him (lucky bastard!) mixed it up with the more powerful Golfs.So no real mishaps for Matt today just a refit of a power steering belt and a brand spanking new set of tyres now totally 'wanked' he was unpeturbed and loved it,he later told me it was one of the best days of his life! How cool a compliment was that.
Car#28, Well without a shadow of a doubt, the favourite team in the Paddock,Team Mas's Martin and Ben not only provided nutrition,rehydration and shelter throughout the day, they put the Team MAS car out into the mix .The well decorated car looked great in the paddock ( and boy,it did spend some time there too!|) 'Ben explained to me that the engine had began making funny noises etc and then continued with some technical info (way over my head) before fortunately Martin explained to me in Philip language that 'its buggered' thats the car not Ben (we hope),Then Martin went for a nice long sleep!
Car#2, Well the big turn-out certainly impressed me, thats the cars not what Doug left in the 'dunny'.The BBQ was a magnicent surprise! i once again took advantage of the free instruction, and it helped my day once again.My car was a bit sick, suffering a hanging off exhaust and a rev limiting issue,which unfortunately rendered me out of attacking Wayne.However, i had a great day, we even had the opportunity to do some filming which we hope to show soon.
The day provided our closest racing yet! & Lydden once again gave us a fun packed day, the staff are the most relaxed bunch and they let us play all day lon.So im sure we will return here later in the year.!! PJH Team Redbull (53 cans were drunk on the day! we was buzzing)
WOODBRIDGE RACING CIRCUIT, IPSWICH,
24TH APRIL 2010 ROUND THREE
Well Woodbridge certainly surprised us all.A bit of a chance card, but the cheapish entry fee turned into a great days racing.On arrival following an hour and a half drive,the diminished grid's jaws dropped as we virtually arrived in a carpark alongside a remote MOD base.The toilets were three portaloo's, refreshments was a la carte literally with a burger van and a race control a bouncy portacabin.Hardly what we just had at Silverstone, thats for sure. Then the siting laps threw us into dismay,a confusing cone littered runway that really ate your tyres.
However,once you mastered the route this circuit and the laid back organising approach gave us the closest racing so far this year.
Car#3 the Dug and Chris car stuck to the road all day, no events spins or breakages, infact the only event was the drive home when Doug knew something was wrong as they entered the Scottish borders.
Car#4 Driven by Paul and Co-piloted by Paul Junior put in some initial fast laps and manouvers earlier in the day, however as the tyres literally were running on air instead of rubber as the day went on They had to chase hard all afternoon.
Car#6 returned to the fold driven by Paul and Fonz,although not ran this year the guys put on a great display until they were running on the rims too.
Car#12 driven by Martin was back, with some new plastic windows he had a great day telling us his car was knocking and banging its way all around the circuit, we enjoyed his wheel lifting a foot off the floor on the tight corners.
Car#15 Driven by Frazer and passengered by friend Gary, decided not to gently ease themselves into the fray, Infact the old racer i have known a long time was back!! i followed him up the straights around the twisty stuff for several laps for ages until i tried to throw an overtake move on him which he was having none of,this resulted in a missed gear,and a demise of his clutch.He loved every minute,but will be back at Lydden..
Car#28 arrived, despite all things thrown at it the car, made the paddock to an applause.Team owner Martin will be putting all efforts into being at Lydden on the 15th.
As for little old Car#2 Well my tyre choice was barracked all day, it looked like a range rover it was so high up,and it rubbed an arch on every corner! However, i never lost grip all day and was tagged, 'Convoi Exceptionell' as i was apparently as wide as J-lo's butt and had the straight line speed but impossible to pass in the twisties..
The closest racing of the season so far,however,despite only a half grid,it gave valuable tracktime experience to the hardend regulars to take to Lydden Hill on the 15th May, This hopes to be the Race of the Season,more new boys enter the fold....Gladiators i salute you !! see Gallery for days events.
SILVERSTONE GRANDPRIX CIRCUIT
19TH MARCH 2010
Formula 500 made history on Friday the 19th of March 2010, we were the first group ever to race the newly modified Grand Prix Circuit !!
This was a big one for us,as we have never raced the Golf's here and the Circuit is a over a whopping 3 miles a lap!
We Grabbed the Pitlane Garages 5 and 5a, where the road tyre boys swapped over their wheels to slick tyres ready for some action.
The weather was dry and we all got around our siting laps unscathed.The track was awesome and we all noticed some still slipppery corners.
The Green light indicated Go ! and we all took off.
It was nice to see new member Kester Cook finally get his car on the black stuff with us and we were all impressed with his flat out style, well done Kester and his Co Pilot Anna.
Car #7 Craig 'love muscle' Russell, used the Silverstone Event to showcase his new race-car,time was short to scrutineer it for the ''strict'' Formula500 guide lines and Car selection rules.However the engine was a 2 litre 8 valver, and it had four door handles!!!!!! True to form Craig never let us down, he got black flagged for being on the phone down the finish straight, multiple spins and a trip to get his exhaust welded and a spell in the ''Kitty Litter'' did not spoil his day.Watching his rear left about 2 foot in the air at every corner certainly made ours!
Car#3 was mostly without its youthful Chris who decided to spend half a day at Cheltnam Races, still i ''bet'' ( get it ) that he did not think he would get the blame for a/ the engine mount breaking ( weld job) and b/ the front wheel nearly came off at the end of the day.Doug was as usual quite animated.
Car#4 My arch nemisis and biological (we hope) brother had no mechanical fau-pas today, and i could not hold him off for more than 3 laps or so before his better lines got the better of me, He had a great day and only stopped when he had no meat left on his tyres!
Car#5 Wayne treated his lady the delightful Jan to a day at the races,he also showed me a clean set of heels after about four laps and was like a messershmit on my six in my mirrors trying to carve a way past, you may of won this battle but the war is not yet lost!
Car# Mr Robert Ludlow had a whole load of family supporting him today and even let Fay his ( how you doing daughter) have a little go at the wheel, lets hope to get some more fillies interested.. Fay you can call me on 077... etc ,no time for this lets crack on.
It was also nice to see the return of Car#11 Ray Mac, with Sophie and Race fan Dave in tow, Poor Ray has his R888's but he did not get them fitted in time for this one , but will defo have fresh rubber for the next one.
As for me Car #2 i found the circuit a challenge , it is difficult remembering all the corners. My highlights were, Craigs continual balancing on the edge on three wheels and his spins Dougs PIT rants and those blooming lovers Paul and Wayne spoiling my days fun with their ability to be able to put it right up my chuff like a storm of wasps! i loved every minute :)
Well the next one is April 24th at WOODBRIDGE we are led to believe that TEAM MAS Car #28 makes its debut so watch this space................................
CASTLE COOMBE 27th February 2010 Round One
The Birds were singing as the Formula 500 Gang met up at The Bonjoir Service Station,Heathrow.Everyone was early a club 1st!!!!
The second batch of racers met us on-route at Reading Services.Then it was a Cool Convoy on to Castle Coombe.
Once at the circuit we reserved a pitch, and lined them all up.The sun was shining on arrival, the heavy down pour looked like it would dry up............... nah not today !
The race briefing held by the respectable BHP organisers, went event free if, you can accept my QUAGMIRE, GIGGITY GIGGITY GIG, ringtone bringing down the house ( acknowledges to Wayne!)
Following the sighting laps it was crunch time, as the cars gingerly attacked the circuit.Well that was event free!!
Then it was system normal ''fun time'' and heading up the action was our very own Captain Kaos ''Craig'' in the Number 7 car.Despite changing to the popular Triple8 tyres ( F-500 Favourites) Whilst trundling down the Straight Craig lost it spectacularily, spinning and ploughing it into the hapless Armco.Expecting a totalled ride Craig Emerged gobsmacked as the only damage was some mis-shaped body panels and a broken headlamp, not bad for a 100mph spin! However once Gaffer taped up and allowed back on to the track, his enjoyment was shortlived, following yet another spectacular spin under he noses of the circuit owners Craig was 'blackballed' and his wrist band removed, and his race day ended.
Mark Knight in the Fear No Foe car, had an average day, following his upset with 'Fourbranch-Gate' and the last minute fuelling modifications, he told me he was great on the straights but was struggling for grip on the corners, and was not as happy here as Lydden.
Martin on the otherhand was middleminded, he too changed to triple8's and with his new Red and black coloured car was having more success than his last outing, where the gearbox 'Shat' all of its fixing bolts.
Wayne, in car 5, was on the pace all morning whilst it was dry and pushing his ''lunching love buddy hard''.But he struggled for grip as the heavens opened and spun spectacularily later on in the day.Wayne as all race car drivers do, blamed a 'Dodgy Chinese from the night before for his unwellness and is now looking to return fighting fit for Silverstone.
All eyes were on the Newboy, Nik, this Formula500 Virgin pushed his car around well and was ready to rip up the ''V'' plates when the familiar sound of Knock -Knock put paid to his day.He has ordered a new engine and will be ready for Silverstone.
The Brawn Car of our own Techno Kid Paul Hatton, was all set to kick some butt here, however even on the Journey up Paul called me telling me he had a running problem.once out of the Race Briefing the number 3 car was having none of it, It needed ' A very nice man, actually a very very nice man from the AA, to find the fault traced to a faulty fuel pump, some mods later and she fired into life, racing the whole day until she decided to poo herself on the drive home, watch this space.
DUG 60K and Chris tried out there very ( un popular ) Parada's and immediately changed to the Triple8's, and despite frightening the crap out of my instructor with his tailgating antics ( thanks) they had just the usual spins and off road trips.The car ran well and only on Dug's last run did he blow the crap out of the Starter motor ( blaming Chris obviously) but it got home ok, and Dug has told me it is going to look the ''Nuts'' for Silverstone! God knows what that means.
As for me, well what can i say, as usual i opted for the Circuit Instructor a snip at £15 for nearly 45 minutes , but worth every penny as he showed me how to really attack the circuit , and i drove faster in the wet than i had the dry earlier.All HAIL THE NEW ''KING OF THE CASTLE'' Im sure my reign will be short but it made my day, as i never put a tyre wrong all day, thanks Tim from Castle Coombe Race Circuit.
Well absences were Pete, Uncle Rob,Martin ( TEAM Mas ) , KES and obviously Sean, various reasons but we hope to se them return when/If there ball's drop ! lol
Well see you all at Silverstone.... love Your Majesty :) PH
The Formula 500 Annual Awards Dinner
TAI-PAN UXBRIDGE 11TH DECEMBER 2009
ho,ho,ho and a Merry Xmas to all !!
The racing year was seen out in style at Tai-Pan in Uxbridge, a good turn out of Drivers and close friend's turned out as Formula-500 took over the venue.
After a hearty dinner and washed down with plenty of liquid refreshment the awards were handed out.
Honours went to the following drivers.
Best Prepped Car , Robert and Ian Ludlow
Ugliest car , Chris Brookes and Doug
I.C.E car , Craig Russell
Most Modded , Paul Hatton
Most worked on , Wayne Knight
Best Buy , Mark Knight
Biggest Spill ( of blood ) Chris Brookes
Biggest Blowup , Martin Carlton
Man most likely to chat up ya bird , Doug Hill
Smiliest Car , Ray Mc Nally
Least power max grip , Peter Johnson
Best Groupies, Paul and Leigh Knight
Special Prizes ....
Reversing record holder Wayne Knight
Win at all cost award Paul 'Nitrous ' Hatton
My Daddy is bigger than yrs award, Paul Hatton Junior
Most Stickers Philip 'Hollywood' Hatton,
thanks for a great year and see you all in the pit's soon!!
Merry Xmas and may Santa bring you all UPGRADES!!
SNETTERTON RACE CIRCUIT 21ST NOVEMBER 2009
Having had the whole month of October off , the teams have been prepping the cars like mad and now the time had finally come to race Snetterton.
If you have never raced here before, its a treat, two flat out straights and some nervey corners and the circuit has the bonus of Garages to rent out too!
The gang met at the rendevous point in the early hours to leave at 05:30 on the dot. All cars were on time all gleaming, fully loaded up with spares, family and adrenaline!
The drive up was fun too, a Golf Mk3 8v GTI convoy, flanked by one of our drivers Ray' in a Subaru,and Paul in his Fiat (soon to be a GTI driver) they said it looked great as we all jostled for positions as the snake trundled down the M11/A11 on our way to the Circuit.
The following cars checked in,
CAR #1 TEAM WOLFY RACING PETER JOHNSON
CAR #2 RED BULL RACING 'HOLLYWOOD' HATTON
CAR #3 TEAM PATEL LOTUS DUG AND CHRIS BROOKES
CAR #4 TEAM BRAWN PAUL AND PAUL (FIA)JNR HATTON
CAR #5 TEAM CUPCAKES (THE UNDERTAKER) WAYNE KNIGHT
CAR #8 (NOT IN HIS GOLF BUT HIS FOCUS) MORE ON THAT LATER !!!
CAR #9 TEAM MILLWALL MARK KNIGHT
CAR #10 TEAM BABY BLUE RAY MCNALLY
CAR #11 TEAM LUDLOW 'UNCLE'ROB AND IAN LUDLOW
CAR #12 TEAM CARLTON MARTIN CARLTON
Absences were Sean car six ( in New York ) and car seven Craig ( at The Erotica Sex Show in London whist his wife was in hospital )
After a short race briefing the cars took there sighting laps then it was the green light to go go go! The first session was bedlam as the track was still drying there were cars going off everywhere! Porsches, Subaru's etc and even the gangs very own Martin.Pete and Mark had some spinning action!
Pete was having a grrreat time and upset everyone by not putting his car on its roof (must try harder Pete!) however , he said the grip from his Toyo TR1'S was fantastic.
As the day went on and after seeing a certain persons BLISTERING speed Paul and his love rival Wayne decided to change to the favourite R888 tyre and almost immediately were enjoying the grip they provide , and were up each-others 'ass's' most of the day ( and they were racing close too! he he )
The Patel' car was on the track all day no spins for Chris and Dug for the whole session! Chris also benefitted from instructor James Tuition and was putting much in faster times than his partner following the teaching session, a good £25 investment.
Kes and his Girlfriend ( that Doug ''the stalker'' was chatting up ) took the Torque of the Devil Focus as his GTI is yet unfinished, and in his own admission he could not keep up with the Formula500's in the corners, well thats testament to the handling of the £500 cars, Kes' Focus has had about £10k spent on it, and got spanked by the budget motors ( Get ya golf sorted buddy!! )
Mark, had a good day some twisty spinny times but although he had the most BHP putting down on the track is somewhat different, New tyres on the way i hear!
Ray shared his car ( as he does his women , really) with life partner' ( not really ) Owen, i spoke with them in the pits and the Baby Blue car did not miss a beat all day, and both loved the day ( im going to put in here '' and eachother'' )
Now the shinest car was the new look Team Ludford car Of Big Uncle Robert and his son Ian.Sporting a new yellow Viper stripe it was easy to spot as they thundered down Revell Straight.Even Mark the 'sticker' chap came along to assess the cars and we all hope to sport matching sunstripes soon !!!
Now surprise of the pack was Martin, following his lowest BHP at TOTD' he had spent hours in stalling a new hydralic gearbox system in his car and was showing an impressive pace, before the inevitable change down from 4th to second when something decided to give up! last report was Martin was on a low loader somewhere near Cambridge (WORK IN PROGRESS ME THINKS! )
Then there is little old me i had a great day, and my personal highlights of the day was overtaking, 'virtually' everyone on the inside line whilst they were on road tyres and my favourite ,favourite thing was watching Wayne reversing at at least 70mph out of control with Owen beside him off into the sunset!
Before you knew it we were racing with headlights before the chequred flag ended the day. Virtually casualty free, but smile all round well done chaps see you all at the next one !
